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New York Times bestselling writer Jen Lancaster has lived a existence according to re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the hot Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s controlled to rfile her (and her generation’s) makes an attempt to form up, develop up, and feature it all—sometimes with disastrous results…

Sure Jen has made errors. She spent all her cash from a high-paying activity on footwear, outfits, and spa remedies. She then carried a Prada bag to the unemployment workplace. She wrote a complete memoir approximately dieting…but didn’t drop some pounds. She launched into a quest for cultural enlightenment that in simple terms cemented her love for John Hughes videos and Kraft American Singles. She attempted to embody every little thing Martha Stewart, whereas residing with a menagerie of rescue cats and canine. (Glitter…everywhere.)

Mistakes are something; regrets are another.

After a ladies’ weekend in Savannah makes her notice that she is—yikes!—middle-aged (binge staring at is so the hot binge drinking), Jen makes a decision to make a bucket record and grab the day, whether that implies having her tattoo got rid of at 100 occasions the price of placing it on.

From trying a juice cleanse to learning Italian, from studying to trip a motorcycle to beginning a brand new enterprise, and from sampling pasta in Rome to education for a 5K, Jen is popping a mid-life predicament right into a mid-life chance, sharing her occasionally bumpy—but regularly hilarious—attempts to raised her life…again.

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WE BE ROLLIN’ nine. dwelling los angeles VIDA MARTHA 10. no longer THE BULLSHIT, simply the great SHIT eleven. ITALIAN FOR DOUCHE baggage 12. THE list indicates I TOOK THE BLOWS thirteen. What’s My Rule? 14. SPRING FEVER 15. PARCHI E RICREAZIONE sixteen. Sorry I’m no longer Sorry 17. JULIA ROBERTS LIED TO ME 18. gruesome american citizens 19. IL CAVALLO 20. RUN on your lifestyles 21. SEE YOU IN HELL, BETTY SPAGHETTI ACKNOWLEDGMENTS For Tau Delta Beta, simply because we have been within the shit, and for Ed Lover, for supplying the backspin For of all unhappy phrases of tongue and pen, the saddest are those: “It could have been! ” —John Greenleaf Whittier The previous is a smart position and that i don’t are looking to erase it or remorse it yet I don’t are looking to be its prisoner both. —Mick Jagger My largest regret . . . is that I didn’t hit John Denver within the mouth whereas I had the opportunity. —Denis Leary 1. IT’S no longer SPRING holiday, ok? “Don’t get a tattoo. ” i look over at my husband, Fletch, who’s grudgingly agreed to ferry me to the airport at this ungodly hour. We left the home so early that it’s nonetheless essentially evening outdoor, with purely the palest streaks of red at the japanese horizon. within the dimness of the driver’s seat, his positive factors are slightly illuminated by means of the dashboard lighting. nonetheless, even in the dead of night, i will be able to notice his smirk and I’m annoyed. “How do you work tattoos are most probably with this staff? ” “Because you’re happening grownup Spring holiday. ” He says this all matter-of-factly, as if it’s already a fait accompli and the artist will commence inking once I come to a decision among the shoulder tat of Calvin whizzing on a Chevy emblem or the rainbow-hued butterfly throughout my butt cheek. I’d pick out neither, evidently. (Sidebar: I’d specifically no longer decide upon the butterfly. to maintain proportionate with the remainder of the genuine property again there, that factor must be the dimensions of a pigeon, which . . . no. ) besides, I don’t are looking to lose my endurance with him simply because he’s doing me a prefer. nonetheless, I’m indignant he feels he has to factor warnings. “If this trip’s thought of grownup Spring holiday, then I’m lovely certain we’re doing it unsuitable. Julia had us all learn hour of darkness within the backyard of fine and Evil in anticipation of our journey. nobody delves into what critics name ‘a lyrical paintings of nonfiction’ to prepare for Spring holiday. ” He snorts. “Yeah, you are saying that now. seek advice from me in forty-eight hours. ” Argh. “This goes to be a bona fide grown-up ladies’ weekend. We in particular rented a spot with a veranda, the place we’ll drink modest quantities of good wine. Rachel’s husband’s an oenophile and he’s despatched alongside some of his favorites, which we plan to get pleasure from. whilst was once the final time you heard a person say ‘oenophile’ in connection with Spring holiday, Fletch? Hmm? No resolution? Didn’t imagine so. ” Fletch flips his blinker and glances over his shoulder earlier than merging into the right-hand lane. His silence speaks volumes. “Whatever you do, don’t get the tattoo someplace seen. not anything reads ‘I make minimal salary’ like neck paintings. You’re by no means going to run into an allergist with THUG existence stenciled over his Adam’s apple.

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